So many lessons learned...

(Note to readers: I actually wrote this yesterday...) My horoscope for today said that the stars were lined up just right for me to do some blogging-and by golly I'm in the mood! Usually I try to pose as though I feel at least partially skeptical about astrology, but quite often I am struck by its prophetic accuracy.

Case and point- I read that very close to the New Year, something would happen (not necessarily with a positive bent) to completely change my perspective on life. So this would be when my inner cynic pipes up and is like "yeah, right, this astrology broad thinks she can make sweeping generalizations about 100's of millions of you Pisces and you're gonna fall for it, huh?" At this point the lil' goblin is really smirking.

I confess, I had a feeling that something was on point about her prediction. So maybe some would say that by believing in it, I in some way contributed to manifesting my reality. Perhaps this is so...but regardless, I was pretty stupified by the way the universe decided to bring about a lesson.

To be brief: some crazy guy in the library threatened, quiet seriously, to choke and decapitate me, after which he claimed he would stomp on said severed head 'like a cigarette butt'- verbatim. After I incredulously inquired whether he was really threatening my life, he whispered soft as a lover that my life was coming minutes closer to ending each minute I spoke to him...oh and did I mention he sustained all of pleasant banter while flipping me off and watching a blaxploitation film? Now that's talent. Oh yes, America's got talent!

Granted, I am not without fault. Just minutes before his tirade I had got on my cell phone, in the library (gasp) because half of the twenty page paper on "why Nietzsche wasn't a Buddhist' that I have been slaving over for a week and a half magically dissapeared into a google document vortex to my utter disbelief. I was distraught, to say the least, and had to call someone to help me out before I crested into the land of panic attack. He didnt appreciate my being on the phone--- My phone call did not, however, warrant having my life threatened...to state the obvious.

Needless to say I handled the situation. I retrieved the rest of my paper, sent it in, and now I am finally on winter break. It is sad, yes, that I am just now catching a moment to relax save for our brief trip to the bay for xmas. But- there are many disco lights a flashin' at the end of this story's tunnel. Ok maybe not disco but...lets just say I learned a few choice lessons after a long hot bath and some quiet contemplation.

It's not like I haven't had previous experience in my life with chauvanist assholes tryin' to bring a sistah down. What was different about this particular experience was my reaction. I don't feel victimized. I don't feel all butt hurt. What I feel, is angry. Good old fashioned, burnin' in my gut, blazing through my eyes, head clearing anger. Not the kind of anger where everything seems blurred, aching and frightening, but the kind that makes me feel perfectly centered about what I want in life.

I suppose in a way its hard to fully explain. But something about what occurred on this rainy LA day- something solidified in me. I am no longer a whimpering young woman, scared and in need of other people's validation and hope. I am my own rock...and I choose to stand firm upon myself. Im pretty sure I learned something else from this day too, but alas, the cherry cider running through my veins makes me less than prolific as a writer. More thoughts tomorrow...